Betty, Mildred and Ersel Rodgers

Betty is comfortable with her new port and her abdomen is now decorated with interesting black Xs. It could be viewed as a treasure map, but we prefer to call it a battle zone. Kill the Cancer is our motto.

Yesterday she bathed and dressed in street clothes for a normal day at home. I don't know if she was determined to feel like attending Ersel Rodger's funeral or if she is just feeling better because the surgery was about 5 weeks ago, but she said she felt better.

Raymond slipped away to get a haircut this morning. She commented that he hardly ever left the house these days unless someone was there with her. He used to enjoy the woods and be gone for hours. Now he’s glued to her side. She said she’s learning to just say, Thank you! It can’t be easy to have us all telling her what to do. Take for instance today.

She looked lovely today in an olive green wool suit and surgery mask to keep the germs away. No kidding, she looked great! I called to ask her to wear a mask to the funeral. The mask she owns is an old fashioned molded one and she didn't want to wear it so I stopped at the drug store on the way to the funeral and they were sold out. Sharon found some on her way there and Betty was perfectly attired. I wonder if there are designer masks? I'm just glad she wore one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said, Thank you.


Ersel's funeral was well attended by friends and relatives. When I arrived the parking lot was filled with fire trucks. I couldn't figure out what would happen back home if a fire occurred for it seemed all their equipment was in attendance. As it turned out, Ersel had helped his community volunteer fire department restore vintage equipment. The trucks the 18 fire department members brought to carry their beloved brother to his grave were the ones he restored. What an honor to ride in such an honored manner! The neighboring community department stood ready to cover any emergencies at home. The Pleasant Grove church members prepared a lovely dinner for those that lingered to visit. The food at Pleasant Grove has always been wonderful. Today was no exception.

Betty and Raymond attended the funeral and then headed home before the graveside service. Devona rode along today and Raymond asked if he could take the long way home. They reminded him that they had already had a pretty long day so he adjusted his routine by driving more than 20 miles an hour on the back roads. That was a victory for the girls. He just loves to drive slowly to savor the scenery. I followed him when we brought Betty home from the hospital and he actually drove over 65 miles an hour on the Interstate. I was amazed.

I took leftovers from the dinner for Betty and Raymond’s dinner. Betty had changed to bed clothes and was fading quickly. She was trying to decide if street clothes are the key to a good day. We’ll let you know. I told her how good Ricki’s asparagus casserole was and she savored a few bites. Thank you, Ricki. She said the lemon pie was delicious also dear quilting friend.

Wednesday is Betty’s first day of chemo and radiation. Wednesday is Raymond’s CT scan. We’re on to the next step in our journey.

Please keep Mildred in your thought and prayers.

The Boley Family

Betty Boley and Mildred & Ersel Rodgers

Betty had the port inserted today and a CAT scan in preparation for radiation and chemo that will start next Wednesday, Jan 5th. She enjoyed a fish sandwich after. Family elves were busy with a cooking day. The basic idea for Betty's diet is to add as much protein to all dishes as we can slip in. Extra eggs, dried milk, nuts, dried fruit, chopped meat and cheese should be added to everything. She is not very interested in sweets right now.

Ersel Rodgers died yesterday. Visitation is tomorrow, Thursday, from 4-8 in Westport and Friday in Clark County at Pleasant Grove Church from 11-1. The funeral is at 1. It is located between Sellersburg and Charlestown on Highway 403. Mildred and Betty are first cousins. Their mothers were twins. Mildred's maiden name is Ganote.

The Boley Family

Monday Dec 27th

First things first,
Betty had a good Christmas experience and was in good condition the next day also.

We saw the oncologist this morning. She will have a port inserted this Wednesday and a CT scan this Wednesday afternoon to gauge the size of the tumor now. They were able to get us in to see the radiologist this afternoon and supplied a bed for Betty to rest between appointments. The radiologist feels it will take about 5 weeks of radiation. She will be receiving chemo for the same 5 weeks. She will wear a fanny pack with an automatic pump to supply the chemo. It will be removed on Saturday and Sunday and reattached each Monday. The chemo and radiation go together. We will be taking turns with transportation. I hope Raymond will let himself rest occasionally.

We are thrilled with the care and consideration she was given today at the Brown Cancer Center.

Betty wants to feel better. We are hoping her appetite will begin to improve, but we have all heard tales of the ups and downs of treatment. I'm sure we are destine for just that, but for now she is determined to feel better.

Raymond shook the rugs again yesterday and insisted on cleaning the bathroom. Betty wanted fried okra on Christmas Eve. Raymond made that happen! He's a good guy folks!

By the way, Devona had sweatshirts made for all the grandchildren and great grandchildren that labeled them blessings. We took a family picture.

We are blessed,
The Boley Family

Christmas Day

Betty had a day of flu followed by a lazy day yesterday. When she woke this morning she wasn't interested in eating and didn't have very much energy. She got a shower and took a nice long nap. We were trying to decide the least tiresome way to share Christmas. Our gathering was set for 5 and at 4:30 Betty decided she felt like getting in the car and going from one garage to another. We were afraid if we went to their house she would feel compelled to participate rather than go to bed. We are planning for her to stay about an hour. She even says she wants to eat our Christmas breakfast menu with us. So it's watching the children opening their presents, eating yummies, and trying to figure out what Devona has been working on as her Christmas surprise. There are so many boxes!

I'll let you know what was inside.

We are together!
The Boley Family

House Husband

I finally dug my car out and headed to Scottsburg to check in with Betty and Raymond. When I arrived Rayanne and Betty were in deep conversation about Rayanne’s ride home from college. Betty and Raymond had made chicken soup so we enjoyed the soup. Betty insisted they send some of the soup to shut ins in their neighborhood. Betty seems to enjoy mild flavored foods now. She planned the soup also for a cooking lesson for Raymond. When she awoke she wanted to get into her morning before they started, but Raymond was eager and started making the soup without her.
I needed to check in because on the phone I heard that Raymond was again shaking the rugs and I didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t remember to sweep the floor this time! Luckily he improved. Betty mentioned that Raymond was making a “nice house husband.” She was considering teaching him about doing laundry. Oh my! If you see them with pink everything you’ll know the lessons have started.
Betty has started quilting a little. She tried to sit with her quilting and did pretty well. At least she is able to attend to the task of quilting.
They are practicing getting out a little. They drove into town to view the lights and thought they might drive to a neighboring community for a view of their decorations. These are very, very short trips. Betty doesn’t want to experience the level of fatigue she encountered with the doctor’s visit. I never thought I’d hear Betty Boley talk about practicing going places. She has been super active her entire life.
I had an opportunity to talk with Dr. Martin’s assistant. She assured me that Dr. Martin is very frank with individuals who he can’t help. She is sure that he considers Betty a candidate who he may be able to help. We still are shaking our heads at the extreme highs and lows this story has taken. It feels good to be coasting for a little while.
As I left I asked them if I could post that visitors were welcome. Raymond replied, “We just can’t handle very much.” Call, send cards, and pray, pray, pray. I chuckled when Betty opened her cards and commented, “I’m beginning to feel bad about all the cards I am getting. Sometimes I can’t even get one sent and some people have sent one every week!” We talked about talents. Some people have the talent of keeping in touch. Some have the talent of nursing and care giving. Some are creative. Each talent adds to the richness of life. She shouldn’t feel badly when someone shares their talent with her. She has shared her talent with so many; she needs to just appreciate others sharing theirs.
I expect our Christmas celebration to be a very short celebration. We don’t want to tire her out before her doctor’s visit on Monday. We just want to watch the little ones open their presents so we have something to smile about for a few days. Raymond says, “That Abbagail is something!” I wonder if our grandparents though the same about us?
Merry Christmas Dear Friends,
The Boley Family

Never a Dull Moment

Betty will be seeing the Oncologist the Monday after Christmas, Dec 27th at the Brown Treatment Center in Louisville. I assume this will be an initial visit with discussion about a treatment plan devised by the Surgeon and the Oncologist. You may remember that the Surgeon, Dr. Robert Martin, hopes to shrink the cancer surrounding Betty's main artery to her liver. He hopes this will allow him to remove that problem and allow him to complete the Whipple procedure he tried on November 27th.

Raymond saw the Vascular Surgeon today. He has planned a scan at Jewish Hospital after the first of the year. If the scan shows more than 70% blockage he will consider surgery. Raymond would be awake during the procedure and would spend one night in the hospital. An incision would be made to clean the affected artery in his neck. Due to Raymond's age of 83 he is not a candidate for stints. Calcium build up is a problem in older individuals so stints are not appropriate. If the blockage is less than 70% the Surgeon will not do surgery at this time.

Raymond and Sharon went grocery shopping after the doctor's appointment and Betty is destined to savor the chicken vegetable soup she has been longing for. They bought everything on her list.

Betty picked us a small quilting project recently. She hasn't tackled the Mariner's Compass that needs to be assembled. The project is at that crucial point where all of the points converge. One must have a steady hand. To any non quilters out there, the Mariner's Compass pattern is not one for the faint of heart.

I've heard that the Boley Christmas this year will be a Pajama Party with breakfast foods. I must go shopping for flannel pajamas. I've also heard that love will be the gift of the season. One only needs those we love to make Christmas complete and that is a lesson we are painfully learning this Christmas Season.

Thank you for your prayers,
Christmas blessings,
The Boley Family

Betty's Week

Betty is sounding stronger and stronger. She starting a grocery shopping list because she was getting tired of the same food every day. It's a good thing Devona was available to get new things together.

Dr. Martin's office called to say Betty can't see an Oncologist until after Christmas. Her appointment is Monday, December 27th. We are very disappointed, but we know Betty will be stronger and stronger by that time.

We hope she will be strong enough to enjoy a small Christmas gathering without too much fatigue.

I probably won't blog over Christmas.

I wonder if Betty has started quilting yet? It would be a good sign! She reported today that she had picked up a project. Yeah! She also cleaned out the refrigerator today and had to take a nap. I wonder where Raymond was?

Betty's Birthday

Betty is thrilled with the cards she has been receiving. Yesterday she received 20 and today 17. There were many earlier in the week. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness.

She has found gifts on the porch and has started enjoying visiting on the phone. Home Health has started a routine. It is helping Betty feel less dependent on her children and able to function independently. Her children, on the other hand, are always curious about what's going on so we show up anyway.

The amount of fatigue she experienced following yesterday's trip to the doctor was quite frightening. She woke up with profuse sweating and overwhelming weakness. It worried Raymond because he had never seen her that ill. We checked her sugar level which was acceptable and called the nurse. After a pain pill and a long long nap she joined us to watch TV. We now know to plan more carefully for her doctor visits and trips to radiation. A wheel chair appeared before we even asked for one. And as the physical therapist suggested she will walk, walk, walk before the next trip.

Betty bounced back this morning with renewed energy, cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, dusting furniture, ordering medications, and trying to sweep the floor. Raymond insisted he would dust and do the floor so he took the rugs out to shake and forgot to sweep the floor before he put the rugs down again. Betty noticed! The humor and laughter surrounding daily choirs is very entertaining. She ordered a Wendy's hamburger for lunch and Sharon brought peppermint ice cream!

If this message leaves you a little confused about Betty's condition, join the club. It seems to go in cycles with two steps forward and one step back. We'll try to give them their space, but we'll be there if they need us or there if we get curious about what's going on.

Thank you,
The Boley Family

Our Roller Coaster

Our morning started at 5:30 with Raymond waking the household. Betty curled her hair and donned a new velour outfit Devona got for our 1st trip and off we went at 7 on the dot. The Kennedy was backed up, but the 2nd street bridge took us to the University of Louisville Out Patient Clinic.

Doctor Martin was pleased with Betty's progress. Betty asked him if there was any hope. He said he wished to speak in terms of hope. His hope being that chemo and radiation would shrink the mass around the main artery to the liver and then allow him to remove that mass and enable him to do the Whipple procedure which would remove the pancreatic tumor.

That left all of us scratching our heads. We were under the impression that surgery was no longer an option. There were 7 of us in the room when Dr. Martin talked to us after Betty's surgery. None of us remember hearing future surgery mentioned. I spoke to his assistant before we left the hospital and it was not mentioned as an option.

The only thing we can figure out is that she has done so well
re cooperating from the surgery that he feels she may be able to handle more treatment and surgery. That means Raymond is an excellent nurse for he has taken wonderful care of her and has not left her side.

We feel as though we have been on a roller coaster; the fear of pancreatic cancer, the joy of surgery, the disappointment of not being able to do the surgery, her slow recovery and fatigue, and now hope, perhaps not for a cure, but for more time with family and friends!

So today was a day that taxed Betty. She will be sleeping today off for a while. Then, Raymond will be walking with her to help her gain more strength. Wave when you see them!

We'll let you know next week when we have an appointment with the oncologist. Until then - your prayers are certainly being heard.

Bless us all,
The Boley Family

Tuesday Dec 7th

Betty gains strength every day. She is learning to manage back pain and a vacillating appetite. Raymond is doing a great job. Devona has been helping this week. She had the inclination to clean a little. You'd never find me doing that!



One of the greatest challenges currently is learning to navigate their TV and DVD player. They have three remotes and its a miracle if you hit the right combination of keys to reach the desired program. We have the best luck if one of the grandchildren is around to help!



Betty has a soft spot for Shirley Temple. A few years ago she bought her granddaughters Shirley Temple collector dolls. It just so happened that three of us gathered Shirley Temple videos for her to enjoy. Did you know Shirley did a series of short films before her feature length film career? I'm looking forward to watching them with her if I can master the remotes!



Betty is seeming more herself. She is hoping for good news at the doctor's on Friday. We could use some good news. Betty has a very strong faith, but anyone facing the challenge she is facing has good days and bad days. I know she would enjoy phone calls.

I will post on Friday.

Until then,
The Boley Family

Betty's Birthday

Early on we had entertained the idea of a surprise birthday celebration for Betty's birthday on December 11th. Since that won't be possible, perhaps you might consider sending cards.

Betty Boley
128 Magnolia Dr
Scottsburg, IN
47170

Thanks

Saturday Dec 4th

Good Day!

Sharon has taken over for the weekend. Devona is at her last show/sale at Hanover and Dennis and Jill are working at Noah's wrestling match. I'm without a job!

We watched the movie "Julie and Julia" about Julia Child. Betty had a few good laughs and Raymond watched the whole movie without falling asleep. We also enjoyed "A Celtic Christmas" on PBS. Raymond kept commenting on the beautiful gowns. Who knew! Betty has a soft spot for Shirley Temple. I ordered a Shirley Temple retrospective from Netflix and I had to return to Madison to pick it up at the post office. I hope she enjoys them.

Betty is now walking without the walker most of the time. She discovered she can get up and down from the couch so her living room time can be spent reclining. That will relieve pressure on her lower back. Sharon remembered a massage mat that was around so we'll see if that helps.

Of course, we have oodles of food. Karoline made a delicious turkey casserole last night. Jan and Susan brought the most delicious Russian Wedding Cakes we have ever tasted. I caught Sharon in them this morning. I hope there will be some left when I return. The cookies weren't hard and dry inside. Perhaps the baker had actually followed the recipe. Try to underbake your next batch a little and see what you think. The real butter was pretty good too!

Our main goals at present are to keep Betty moving, rub her back, stay current with Tylenol, and entice her with food options. I think Raymond is about ready to assume responsibility for the challenge. He needs a secretary to keep track of the details, but the day to day duties are doable. We left our phone numbers for him to refer any medical calls so I think he's in good shape.

We tried to encourage Raymond to attend South Boston on Friday night but he isn't ready to leave for that long. It will be a good sign when you see him out and about. He will feel she is safe and secure. Our next doctor's appointment is Dec 10th for Betty and Dec 17th for Raymond. Stay tuned for more adventure.

I probably won't blog until the first of the week. Thank you for following.

The Boley Family

Friday Dec.

Betty and Raymond don't have Internet so I haven't been able to post daily. I will try to be more consistent because I love telling Betty how many people have been checking on her progress. I hadn't encouraged you to send comments, but that would be a wonderful way to let her know you are thinking of her. We read them all to both Betty and Raymond.

Raymond looks forward to the mail each day. He can't wait to open the cards and will say in a loving voice, "Honey, we got a card from __." When Betty finally gets them he gets to relive opening each one again.

When you consider how far Betty has come in a week from eating a Tablespoon of food in a day to eating three small meals a day and a few yogurts on the side, she has come miles. She said yesterday, "Food just doesn't sound good. I can't understand. Eating used to be my favorite thing!" I try to remind her how much improvement she has made in a week. The Home Health representative shared several suggestions for snacks that might be appealing.

She has finally found a way to get in and out of bed by herself. She will come walking out of the bedroom and wake us up from our naps! How rude! She has the use of a walker for exercising and she's steady enough to walk without it for short distances.

With Jill's help in gathering the equipment we needed and Steve and Devona installing safety bars and a hand held shower head, Betty had her first shower yesterday. She expressed a sound of delight when the warm water soothed her weary body. I only needed to wash her feet. What an honor to be able to be of comfort to her.

I don't believe Betty has stayed in one spot very long her entire life. It has taken a toll on her lower back to remain stagnate. Lotion and massages ease the stress but we haven't eliminated the problem.

A Home Health aide visited today and the nurse will be visiting periodically. It will feel good to have knowledgeable health care professionals helping us.

Raymond is finding his way in care giving. He does a great job of preparing breakfast and getting her settled for the morning. He is pretty much doing all the food service. Thank God for the microwave! Raymond learned to use the dish washer last night.

We see the surgeon at Brown Cancer Center on Friday, December 10th. We will find out our next step. It could be chemo if she has healed enough. We don't know what Betty's choice will be.

Betty doesn't have to visit with Raymond and me. When visitors arrive she puts out the effort to visit and pay attention. That is how she tires easily. You wouldn't think getting loving attention from friends would put such a strain on an individual, but it does.

Our family feels so lucky to have so many prayers coming our way and we feel uncomfortable declining visitors. Please forgive our need to let Betty heal and send as many comments as you are inspired to share. She appreciates every one.

The Boley Family

Betty made it home Tuesday evening. She is walking on her own and even got into the tall bed. Sharon got her King Fish for dinner, at her request,and she ate well.
She gets very tired quickly so she still request no visitors. We would also like to keep other germs away from the house.
Karson and Abbagail will be hosting a puppet show for her this afternoon, we can't wait to see the puppets they have made and hear the story.
Raymond made breakfast for Betty and she even made it to the table to eat with him. I think he is showing signs of those hidden cooking talents.
We thank all of you for caring so much and for your prayers.